Broken
by twerri02
Summary: After Jenna's death, Jeremy is broken, tired and lost. Thankfully, his saviour arrives just in time.
1. Chapter 1

**"I was lost"**

**No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.**

**~C. S. Lewis~**

**Song: Tom Odell - Sense (beautiful song)**

Is this where I would end up next?

Would this be where we all ended up?

All the Gilberts, six feet under and laid out in rows, beside each other.

Every time, I looked at the mirror or even at my sister, I felt it. A constant reminder that hollowed my stomach and clenched my heart, warning me with the impending threat.

Even when I glanced at my friends, I had to battle away the dark thought of who would be next?

Who was next to have a red rose laid on the earth that covered them? Who would be we have to say goodbye to next? What other story would have to spin to cover up the supernatural?

Last year, I was just a kid who's parents had died. I was stupid, angry and confused so I escaped through the pills and the drugs and any form of intoxication.

Regardless of how much I wanted to return to that dazed escape, I knew that I couldn't.

Not this time.

Elena needed me...just like I needed her.

This time, I would be strong and do whatever it took to keep her safe.

She was all I had.

The reminder had me involuntarily flickering towards the tombstone. An empty and desolate stare fixated onto the piece of rock with a simple engraving.

JENNA SOMMERS

That was all it said.

Nothing else.

I had spent the whole night crying silent tears, sinking into the all too familiar grief. It had quietly ate me up as the memories fleetest but eventually, it slowly numbed me to a restless slumber.

Now, I was lost.

Nonetheless, that didn't stop the embarrassing sob leaving me. This was then accompanied with tremors racking my body and I dropped my hand onto the ground. My fingers dug into the ground, curling before pulling as I frustratedly ripped at the grass.

"Oh"

The distinctive gasp made me whirl around to stare up at the last person I had expected to see but the first one that I wanted to see.

"I'm so sorry" she murmured, her eyes still glued onto the tombstones behind me.

Stray tears trickled down her flushed cheeks and her dark brown locks were slightly matted, losing their usual lacklustre. As the clouds hovered, the burgundy was lost but her locks were still a luscious mahogany. Her eyes were puffy, bloodshot as they glistened with unshed tears.

One thing that hadn't changed was her style. She had kept it simple with a casual but worn out Rolling Stones tee, dark ripped jeans and her scuffed converse.

Nonetheless - beautiful.

"I'm so sorry, Jeremy" she gasped out again and her gaze tore away from the tombs to now face me.

Now that I was broken from the trance, I finally let myself breathe the first thought that came to mind. "Bella..." her name fell from my lips so naturally and freely.

Just saying it reminded me of the times I had chased her around the back garden with the hose. She had then retaliated as her and Elena threw water balloons at me and Matt.

I remember how she used to cross her arms and pout when we used to call her 'Smella'. However, I would soon comfort her, take her hand and she would kiss my cheek, telling me that I was forgiven.

I could recall how she stopped trying to make garlands with Jenna, Caroline and Elena. Instead she came over and forced us to teach her how to skate. I held her hand as I led her down the pavement on my skateboard.

When we visited the lodge, I had been a weedy little kid, too scared to jump from the pier and into the water. However, Bella came back for me, took my hand and helped and we jumped off together.

The last memory I had was a fifteen year old Bella, choking back tears as she told us she would be moving to Phoenix.

A couple of weeks later, my parents died and she wasn't there to hold my hand.

"Jeremy" she gasped, her reddened eyes widening, the pupils darkening visibly.

Within seconds, I was off the ground and stalking towards her, wanting to offer her any comfort.

She froze, quivering under my stare but I wanted - I just needed - her.

"Bella..." I sighed once again, the disbelief still leaving me with great uncertainty for how real this moment could be. "I ca- I'm so glad that you're here" I blubbered, like the idiot that I was.

My inhibitions and doubts were gone when I caught her take a step towards me. "Jer" she murmured and I took that as the encouragement I needed.

It was all I needed to urge me into wrapping my arms around her. The need to relive that warmth that she had always adorned returned. However, her audible gasp had me dropping my arms.

Now, I felt empty.

"I- I uh... I can't feel you" I shook my head frantically, stepping back as I made a few more attempts. "Why? Wh-why can't I feel you?" I cried out helplessly, my arms running up what was supposed to be her skin.

"J-Je-Jeremy?" she stuttered, sharing my frustration as she too tried to touch me and I willed for it to be real. "How? How Jeremy?" she was in her own state of disbelief and I was left dumbstruck. "How?" she called and tilted her head up meeting my gaze. "How can you see me?"

"I can't feel you" I repeated numbly, trying to fight what I already knew was inevitable.

My head tilted up limply as I met her searching gaze. We both remained silent, waiting for the other to speak but we knew. The answer was in my quiet hesitance; in her empty and soulless eyes; hanging within the cold atmosphere until it finally left my lips.

"You're dead"

**A/N: Interested?**

**Let me know what you think**.


	2. Chapter 2

**"That Girl Was Gone"**

**A/N: Good to know that there are some JeremyxBella fans out there. I just love Jeremy and I'm glad you love this pairing. ****This is into Season 3 - Jeremy was just visiting Jenna again in the last chapter. ****Anna found her mum so she doesn't look for Jeremy. Bella takes her place.**

**_"And the danger is that in this move toward new horizons and far directions that I may lose what I have now, and not find anything except loneliness"_**

**-Sylvia Plath-**

"You're dead"

"H-how c-can – wh-" I stuttered, angry at myself for not being able to find the right words. "You can't be dead!" I screamed at her but wasn't able to read her response as fearful tears blurred my vision.

I blinked them away and tried to stroke her face but felt nothing but the mocking breeze brush my fingers when answering my question.

"N-not you too" I breathed and reached up to grip my hair.

"I'm sorry" she murmured, tears in her eyes again as she brought her hand up but dropped it when my cold stare fell onto it.

There was no comfort she could bring me, no warmth because just like the rest, the world was cruel and decided to tear her away from me.

"I'm so sorry Jeremy" she repeated and fell onto her knees before me. Hysterical sobs leaving her as she too curled her fingers into her hair and pulled at them roughly. "H-how can you see me?" she blinked up at me with pleading eyes. "M-maybe you can't and this is- what is this?" she mumbled to herself and then whipped up again to meet my gaze.

She moved her head to the side and I followed the movement. Again, she narrowed her eyes at me and swayed and I continued to

Using one hand, she shakily shuffled towards me. "You see me?" she breathed, a stray tear rolled down her cheek and I wanted to wipe it away…but I couldn't.

There was nothing I could do.

"I see ghosts" I muttered noncommittally, still trying to come in terms with how helpless I felt.

Bella remained oblivious to my limbo state of mind as something else dawned onto her. "You see me" this time it was drawled out in a gasped whisper filled with hope and excitement.

"Bella, you're dead" I repeated spitefully, cursing whatever fate or master that was pulling the puppet strings in my life.

She nodded sadly and numbly, unhappy with the reminder. "I know" she answered and inched herself closer to me. "…but I have you" again her fingers twitched, begging for a touch I could never give. "I've spent so much time wandering this new life alone" her voice cracked at the end but she breathed in, trying to maintain her strength. "To have someone see me – hear me…" she broke off and we locked gazes.

A fire burning in her coffee-brown eyes that warmed with the lengthening silence.

As the tension intensified, she drew in a sharp breath, trapping her bottom lip between her teeth. I was then reminded of her doing the same thing when she remorsefully apoogised for having taken my headphones or when she snuck a peek into my sketchbook.

...but that girl was gone.

"It's unfair" I gasped out, gripping the grass beneath me and letting my knuckles dig into the earth before ripping them. It was all I could do to relieve myself of the frustration and anger battling within.

My simple words were regarded with her understanding. "I know" she murmured, looking back down. She then began to mirror my actions but her nimble fingers were gentle when grazing over the grass. Life had taken away the ability for her to feel it and left her with now way to release her own rage.

"How…?" I growled, demanding to know why she, a light like Isabella, had her life taken away.

"I got involved with the wrong people" Bella answered.

I frowned at her vagueness and refused to drop it, like she wished. "Why the secrets?" I snapped, infuriated that she was keeping secrets from me.

"I don't want to talk about it right now" she mumbled.

"Bella…" I sighed tiredly yet ready to insist on her telling me. It was when I caught the stray tear that fell onto the ground beneath her, that I decided to let it go. She hadn't fully refused me, just asked for a delay.

When she realised that I wouldn't push her anymore, she changed the subject. "I heard about Jenna and I had to-"

"I'm glad you did" I said.

What I said must have given her the courage she needed because she finally looked up to me. "How's Elena?" she asked with a tone filled with apprehension and excitement. "I thought you'd be with her"

"She's with Stefan – her boyfriend" I clarified with disdain in my voice.

She already read into my disgust and challenged it. "I'm guessing you don't approve" she asked but with a small smirk.

"Not really but it's her life and he makes her happy so…" I shrugged.

For a split second, pride flashed across her features before it was veiled with her amusement. "Since when are you all about logic and reason" she chuckled.

I was pleasantly surprised with the familiarity of the sound and for the first time in this shitty situation, I cracked a smile. "I had to grow up" I admitted in a quiet voice.

However, her happiness was short-lived when she frowned disapprovingly, her eyebrows knitting together while her bottom lip jutted out in an adorable pout.

It was the same look she would give me and Tyler when we eavedropped on their slumber parties, or when she caught me red-handed, eating one of the freshly baked cookies that just came from the oven.

Oh, how I missed that scent.

I would know if she had baked because she would wear the scent.

Her hair - her hair used to smell of strawberries and apples.

Now...now I couldn't smell anything - not cookies, no

We were broken from the trance by the sound of a car door slam. It's echoed sound had us both fantically whipping around to the end of the cemetery.

Through the large iron gates, my eyes widnened at the sight of the all too familiar white prius. The owner jumping out and placing her hands on her hips as she scanned around before stopping onto my form.

I managed a weak smile and a feeble wave which she returned.

"Bonnie..." Bella sighed next to me with excitement. "She looks good" she commented, her eyes trailing down her simple attire. A green summer dress and a black denim jacket with sandals. Her long black tresses were pulled back into a ponytail.

"She's my girlfriend" I croaked out, somehow feeling guilty and worried. I had nothing to be scared or feel guilty for.

Bonnie already knew about me seeing ghosts. She knew about Vicki. After overcoming her doubts and worries, she grew accustomed to the idea and even tried helping me.

"That's great" Bella grinned at me with genuine happiness and I was reminded of just how lucky I was to have Bonnie. "I'm really happy for you" she said and made a move to embrace me but stopped and simply added. "You deserve happiness"

"Thank you" I whispered and we looked back to Bonnie who was drawing in closer to us - well me.

"Just..."

I turned to her, waiting for her to continue but she was biting her lip again. "What?"

She tore her eyes away from Bonnie to meet my inquisitive stare. Tears brimmed once again as she pleaded, "Don't leave me" she hoarsely whispered.

"I won't" I shook my head in agreement. There was no way I could leave her to deal with this alone.

This time, she ignored the idea of not being able to feel anything. "Promise me" she pleaded, her hand placed on my shoulder and I wished I could feel it. I wished it with every fibre of my being and we both gasped when my wish was granted.

Her fingers curled over my t-shirt and I felt the whisper of a touch. The warmth wasn't there but the touch - I could feel the touch.

I could feel her.

When I looked up to her wide eyes, knowing that she could feel me too. "I promise" I vowed.

Then, she was gone.

**A/N: Cute?**

**Question: Do you sometimes wish that could see the ghosts?**


End file.
